


When We Were Young

by TDKeh16



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Chance Meetings, Feelings, Future Fic, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of Death, Reunited and it (mostly) feels so good, mentions of divorce, zimbits - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-09 15:57:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7808092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TDKeh16/pseuds/TDKeh16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU where Jack and Bitty broke up (amicably) after Bitty's graduation and they are reunited 8 years later in New York City at an NHL event catered by Bitty's new restaurant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me months and months ago when I first heard "When We Were Young" by Adele and it stuck with me all this time.
> 
> I'm all for endgame Zimbits, of course, but I did not want those 8 years to be spent pining for each other. They both moved on and fell in love with other people while part of them continued loving the other. 
> 
> Remember, end game = happy, but there is lots of feels in the middle here.

Bitty stepped out onto the balcony attached to the large ballroom where the charity benefit was being held. It was not that he was having an unpleasant time, but even social butterfly Eric Bittle needed a break from the crowds and noise once in a while. He took out his phone and scrolled through his texting history, landing on an exchange with Holster from a month earlier.

H: You are wonderful and talented and a fucking joy to be around every time we see you.  
H: I'm so lucky to call you my friend. Anyone should be thrilled to have you in their life.  
B: Jack is visiting you, huh?  
H: I don't understand him. How could that asshole do that and then expect me to be his friend?  
H: Obviously I'll side with you. Like WTF?  
B: People drift apart sometimes. It's okay. It's normal with college friendships, isn't it?  
H: But that wasn't a fucking friendship, Bits. What you guys had... Fuck. He shouldn't have treated you like that. Two years!  
B: It was complicated. He couldn't come out and I couldn't wait. These thing happen.  
B: I appreciate the support, but I'm okay. I promise. 8 years is a long time.  
H: But you're still in love with him?  
B: Part of me will always love Jack.  
H: That's not an answer...  
B: I know.

Bitty sighed and slipped his cell phone into the pocket of his suit. He still found himself on the receiving end of texts like this from his college friends whenever Jack popped into their lives. Holster was by far the worst offender, but then he had had a strained friendship with Jack from the start. Bitty wished everyone would move on already. The last thing he wanted was for their friends to be picking sides nearly a decade later.

Bitty and Jack had tried to make it work, they really did. They gave it a shot and it did not turn out, what was wrong with that? Sometimes relationships drift apart. They wanted very different things and decided that breaking up was the only way they could pursue their dreams without holding one another back. 

Time flew by and they moved on. Jack was now married to a pretty blonde country singer and still destroying every record he could in the NHL. Bitty moved to France after graduation to study with a renowned Parisian pastry chef. It had been the opportunity of a lifetime, but not one that his relationship with Jack could withstand. They had parted amicably with hopes of reconnecting the following summer, but a year is a long time to wait when you're young. By the time summer rolled around once more, Jack was rumoured to be dating a female figure skater he had met at the Olympics, and Bitty was engrossed in a passionate affair with Léo -- the pastry chef he was studying under, more than ten years his senior.

Bitty let out a mournful sigh. It had all been so long ago. Eight years really was such a long time. So then, why was he here? Perhaps Holster was right, but Bitty had not lied. _Part_  of him did still love Jack, just as part of him still loved Léo, despite moving to New York in hopes of 'moving on'. Whatever that actually meant. He turned his eyes from the street below to the sky above and then let them close.

A ripple of awareness passed through Bitty's body when he heard a quiet click. He was being watched, and he knew exactly who it was. "Still carrying around that camera, Mr. Zimmermann?" He asked without turning his head.

Jack approached cautiously. "You knew I was here?"

"Why do you think I came?"

"Because your restaurant catered the benefit?"

"And why do you think I agreed?" Bitty smiled. It was a benefit for a mental health initiative in the NHL and all levels of sports, which had been spearheaded by Jack and a few other professional athletes. "You could have called me directly, Jack. I know you were behind this."

"I was afraid you would say no."

"Of course not. I know how important this issue is to you. It's important to me too."

Jack smiled. "Thanks, Bits."

Bitty ignored the way his heart still fluttered at the sound of Jack's voice, even after all these years. He looked at the camera still in Jack's hand. "I'm pretty sure you hired professional photographers for tonight, you know?" He grinned.

Jack laughed and gave a small shrug. "I like documenting things in my own way."

"It's a big night for you. You should be proud."

"I am. I think we're going to do a lot of good. If I can help even one kid who is going through what I went through..." He trailed off, the rest did not need to be said. They had spent countless nights in the past talking about Jack's first draft and the circumstances around it.

"I know," Bitty said with a small smile and patted Jack's forearm. He pulled it back and cleared his throat. "So, is that the same camera you had at Samwell?"

"Same type, but a newer model."

"How'd my picture turn out?" Bitty asked and Jack's eyes widened. "I heard the click," he explained.

"Perfect," Jack chuckled and pulled it up on the screen to show him. "You always were my favourite subject."

"Oh _lord_ ," Bitty clicked his tongue and laughed. "Me and those geese."

"You were always #1. The geese were a far second."

"Well, that was a long time ago." Bitty turned his attention back to the street below. It was sweet of Jack to say, but that did not make it true. His career was number one, Bitty fell somewhere in second. At least he was ahead of the geese.

"Bits-"

"Can you call me Eric, instead? The only people who still call me Bitty are my college friends."

Jack winced. "Oh. I guess I don't really fit in that category anymore, eh?"

"No. Not really," Bitty said sadly. "Listen, Jack... I don't blame you for anything. We gave it all we had and we lost. You can't win every game, right?"

"Yeah..." Jack sighed and peered over the railing at the street with Bitty. "Do you still keep in touch with the Samwell guys?"

"More or less."

"Nice. I keep in touch with Shitty and Lardo, mostly. And Rans. I actually visited them last month."

"Yeah, I kn-- You did? That's nice."

"Holster left not long after I got there. He said he was walking the dog, but it's just a little fluffy thing and he was gone for three hours. He doesn't stick around when I visit." Jack drummed his fingers idly along the railing of the balcony. "I don't blame him."

"I've explained to him so many times what really happened, but you know Holster. He's emotional about things. I've never asked him to pick sides. I was just as much to blame for how things ended."

"I still think about you sometimes, you know?"

"Jack--"

"It's true."

Bitty shook his head. "Don't. _Please_ don't do this."

"Do what?"

"How's your wife, Jack?" He asked bluntly. "I heard she was sick tonight. It's a pity she couldn't make it. I know how much this benefit means to you."

Jack shuffled a step away, but stayed beside Bitty. He briefly looked around to be sure nobody was in earshot. "She's not sick."

"Oh?"

"She's pregnant."

Bitty felt as though he had been punched in the gut. He certainly did not come here to rekindle an old romance with Jack -- a married man -- but the news that he was starting a family hit Bitty hard. "Oh. Um. Well, congratulations! That's wond-"

"It's not mine."

" _What?_ "

Jack sighed. "We're separated. Have been for a few months, actually. She's been having an affair with one of the guys she was on tour with a little while back. I've known for months, but..."

"But?"

"I didn't really _care_. I know that sounds awful, but... I don't know, B- Eric. Things have been bad for a long time. Part of me is relieved that we're finally putting an end to it."

"You're getting divorced?"

"Yeah. Her publicist is keeping a pretty tight wrap on things. He wants to release the news a few days before her big concert at the end of the month, really boost her publicity, you know? Get everybody buzzing about her new breakup song."

Bitty frowned. "That's awful..."

"I've never really liked the guy."

"I'm so sorry, Jack. About everything." Bitty knew for his own sake that he should not do it, but he could not seem to stop himself from hugging Jack at that moment. He looked so broken. Bitty's arms closed around Jack's waist, catching him by surprise.

Jack wrapped his arms around Bitty's shoulders and took a deep breath. "Your hair smells different than it used to. I'm not sure what I was expecting."

"We haven't seen each other in eight years. A lot of things change -- _including_ shampoo," Bitty said wryly. 

Jack chuckled at that, but his smile faded again as he let go of Bitty. "Thanks for coming tonight, Eric. _Really_. Thank you. My life is such a mess right now, this benefit is basically the only thing going for me right now. It means so much that you actually _attended_ , rather than sending your crew."

"Of course."

"I'm really happy to see you again."

"Jack--"

"I'm not-- This isn't some 'let's get back together' thing. I'm saying I've missed you. _You_. Eric Bittle. Samwell class of 2017, Eric 'Bitty' Bittle."

"Lord..." Bitty suddenly found himself blinking back tears and turned back to facing outwards on the balcony. "I've missed you too," he added quietly.

"I know you're probably busy checking on the caterers and things like that, and I'm busy playing co-host tonight, but when we're not... Can we spend some more time together this evening?"

"As friends?"

Jack smiled. "Yeah. Old friends. I could really use a friend right now."

Bitty smiled back with a small nod of his head. "Me too."

Before Jack could ask, someone came to pull him away. He had spent enough time neglecting his hosting duties talking to Bitty. "B- Eric! I'll come find you when I'm done. Don't leave without at least saying goodbye, okay?"

"Okay. I should probably check on the kitchen cleanup anyway..." Bitty sighed heavily when he was alone again. Maybe it was a mistake to see Jack, especially so soon. It hurt to see him, but was comforting all at the same time.

Little pieces of their old friendship were able to shine through, especially when telling guests that they were old college teammates. Bitty was a famous pâtissier in his own right, but few knew about his history with hockey. After word spread a little, Bitty found himself in an informal interview with one of the journalists attending the event, eager to get details of Bitty and Jack's time as teammates, as well as Bitty's time since leaving Samwell, and what brought him back to the United States. 

"We only overlapped for two years at Samwell, but we became very good friends in that time, especially that second year," Bitty explained to the journalist. "We lived together in the Haus -- that's  H-A-U-S -- it was like a frat house, but for the hockey team."

"Eric Bittle in a frat house?"

"I know, I hardly believe it myself." Bitty laughed.

"Even then, his pies were _legendary_ ," Jack added. "I was always partial to his chocolate chip cookies, myself."

"Excuse _you_ , Mr. Zimmermann. You mention my cookies and not my maple apple pie? I created that recipe just for you."

"My apologies." Jack laughed and turned to the journalist. "Please change my response to 'Eric Bittle makes the best apple pie' instead."

"Wrong again! My MooMaw makes the best f-- the best apple pie." Bitty blushed lightly, relieved he had not dropped a swear word into his interview. Jack laughed at his expense, but Bitty could not blame him.

"You two seem like such unlikely friends. Has it been hard keeping in touch all these years that you've spent an ocean apart?"

"Oh, um..." Bitty looked quickly at Jack. "This is actually the first time we've seen each other in eight years."

"Really? That's even more surprising."

Jack cleared his throat. "I didn't even realize he was back in the country until his restaurant was shortlisted to cater tonight's benefit. I wasn't the one to make the final call, but I was very happy to see his restaurant had been chosen. I didn't know he would be here tonight, but I hoped I could at least taste some of those cookies," he joked to lighten the mood.

"Who bakes chocolate chip cookies for an event like this?" Bitty chirped back.

"Again with the cookies. Is there a story I'm missing here?"

"Actually, yes. It ties in nicely with what tonight is about." Jack smiled at Bitty. "I had a particularly bad anxiety attack one night at the Haus. Bittle-- _Eric_ had tried to help me, but I shut myself in my room. I was flying home to Montréal the following day for Christmas with my family, but he somehow managed to sneak a batch of cookies into my carry on with a reassuring note," Jack paused when his sentence was punctuated with a laugh from Bitty. 

"Anxiety can feel so isolating. It makes you feel like you're a burden to those around you, the people you love. It's why I shut him out the night before -- I didn't want him or anyone else to be 'stuck' dealing with me in a moment of weakness -- and at the time I still considered it a weakness. The next morning I was ashamed of the glimpse he saw of the 'real me' but Eric? He showed support in his own way, and although the gesture seems small, it meant the world to me. It showed me that there were people out there who want to help in any way they can, even when they're not 'obligated' to love you like family. I learned a lot about accepting myself while I was at Samwell, and Eric was a big part of that too."

"Jack..." Bitty cleared his throat, hoping to keep his tears at bay. "Jack was always such a great captain. There was nothing like playing with him. He used to wake me up at 4am for special checking practices -- I _**hated**_  them -- but he didn't give up on me. Maybe because he had struggled so much with his own mental health, he wanted to help me any way he could with my own."

"Your own? Would you care to elaborate? Only if you're comfortable..."

"I had a bad history with contact sports, and when I started at Samwell, I used to physically freeze whenever I thought someone might so much as touch me. Jack made it his mission to help me overcome that fear. When I got a concussion at the end of my first year and effectively hit the reset button on all the progress I had made, Jack was right there. Helping me through it. Starting from scratch. I nearly lost my scholarship. Who knows where my life would be now, if not for him? I can't even imagine my life without having met Jack Zimmermann."

"And I can't imagine my life without having met Eric Bittle."

Bitty laughed to play it off as more friendly banter. "I think this initiative to address mental health in sports is like an extension of what Jack did for me. Someone there to say 'you can do this, I know you can' even when it feels impossible." He exchanged a meaningful look with Jack for a moment, but looked away when he felt his heart thump.

"And you've lived quite a life since your time at Samwell University, haven't you? Only thirty years old and opening a second world-class restaurant -- the first in Paris and this one now in New York. How has the experience been this time around?"

"Well, it's certainly kept my hands full." He said with a small laugh. "It's been a big test for me, and I've tried really hard. Hopefully I'll succeed," Bitty's smile faded as he spoke and his brow furrowed while he tried not to cry again. It did not help this time. "It's a lot of work, and it's been hard to do, you know, _alone_. I have a great team with me, don't get me wrong, but..."

"Take your time."

"I'm sorry. I'd really rather not talk about Léo right now. I know it's been a year, but opening the second place alone has kept things really fresh. I'm sorry, please excuse me."

Jack watched Bitty as he retreated to the bathrooms. He should not have laid all of his baggage on Bitty's shoulders earlier without even asking Bitty about how he was doing, or what led him back home. He was clearly hurting too, and Jack had not even realized Bitty was struggling with such a bad breakup. Suddenly Bitty's 'me too' about needing a friend and the sad smile on his face on the balcony which had prompted Jack to take his photo made sense.

He turned to the journalist. "Are there any other questions I can answer alone to wrap up enough for your article? I want to check on him."

"Sure." She smiled kindly. "You two have quite the chemistry, even after so many years apart. What was it like when you were teammates?"

"Well, Eric may say that there was nothing like playing with _me_ , but really, there was nothing like playing with _him_. He made me a better player on the ice, and a better person off the ice. You should've seen him. Fastest skater I've ever seen..." Jack was able to finish the interview after a few more questions and sought out Bitty in the washroom, but he was gone. He found him instead on the balcony again.

"Sorry about that. Did I ruin the interview?" Bitty asked. He had stopped crying, but spoke more softly than he did before. His voice sounded raw.

"No, it's okay. Are you?"

"It's been a strange night, that's all."

"Things seem to be winding down, at least. You can probably go home soon."

"I'll leave when my staff leaves. You?"

"I'll leave when my guests leave."

Bitty chuckled. "I thought being in charge was supposed to have perks..."

"Tell me about it," Jack said with a grin. He leaned next to Bitty on the railing and gently nudged his shoulder.

"No checking, Mr. Zimmermann." He whispered.

"Can I ask what happened?"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Can we take a selfie, then? For old time's sake?"

That made Bitty smile again. "I'm probably a mess..."

"You look perfect, Bits. Always."

They smiled for a few attempts with Jack's camera before Bitty frowned and shook his head. "Nope. This won't do. _Real_ selfies are taken with cell phones." They proceeded to take a few more shots with Bitty's phone before stepping apart. 

"I'm sorry about earlier," Jack said once the air around them had gone quiet again.

"I was the one who ran off mid-interview..."

"No, before that. Out here. Saying all of those things about my marriage ending, and not having any clue what you were going through. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You had no way of knowing."

"Still, complaining like that while you're still dealing with your own break up--"

"Léo didn't break up with me," Bitty corrected sharply.

"Oh, but--"

" _Cancer_ did. Neither one of us had a say in that..."

Jack's heart clenched in his chest. "Eric, I'm so sorry. I had no idea..."

"He was only 42. Lord, that used to sound _so old_ to me when I was younger, but it isn't. Half a lifetime, really. People easily get fifty years longer than that, why not him? It's not even fair..." Bitty began crying again and cursed softly under his breath. "Nearly six years with someone and then it's just _over_ whether you like it or not..."

He did not object when Jack instinctively pulled him into another hug to comfort him, and instead spent another minute sobbing into Jack's shoulder. Jack did not let go until he felt Bitty relax and had stopped crying. "I didn't mean to make you cry again..."

"The stupid thing is, I _want_  to talk about him. _So much_ , but whenever I _do_..." Bitty's voice cracked and he sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. Remember what you said earlier, about your life being a mess and this benefit being the only thing keeping you going? Well, it's my restaurant for me. I need it to go well. It's like his legacy, and if I fail...? I need to _prove_ to myself that I can do this on my own."

"You can do anything you set your mind to. I've seen you do it."

"Please don't make me cry again, I've been such an emotional wreck all night."

"You're grieving, it's natural."

"But in public? Let me keep some shred of my pride..."

"What's going on here?" A man asked from the balcony entrance with an accusatory tone.

Bitty looked up to find one of his servers. "It's fine, Daniel. I promise. This is my friend Jack, we were talking... About Léo." He sniffled and wiped his eyes again self-consciously. "What's up? Need my help with something?"

"Yeah, it's the-- I don't even know how to explain. It's better if you see it..."

Bitty took a deep breath and forced a smile. "I'll be right there." He turned to Jack. "Goodbye, Jack."

"I'll come see you before I leave," Jack assured him.

"Okay." Bitty sighed quietly and left in Daniel's direction with the smile still on his face.

******

When Jack checked into the kitchen twenty minutes later, he was surprised that Bitty was nowhere in sight. "Excuse me, where is Eric Bittle?"

"He _just_ left. Is there a problem? Cynthia can take care of any concerns-"

"No, there's nothing wrong... When did he leave?"

"You barely missed him. About thirty seconds? Maybe a minute? He was really tired, Cynthia told him she would handle the rest so he could go home."

"Thanks!" Jack had managed to say before rushing to the elevators. One was already on its way to the main floor and the other was waiting. He got downstairs just as Bitty finished calling his uber. "You didn't say goodbye before you left."

"I did. On the balcony."

"I didn't know that was a _real_  goodbye."

"It was nice seeing you tonight, Jack. Everything was a huge success. You're going to do a lot of good with this."

Jack stepped closer when Bitty turned away. "Please don't go. Not yet."

Bitty turned back with a sigh. "I've loved two men in my life, and I lost one for good. Léo told me to find someone to love and to be happy, but I'm not sure how. I moved to New York five months ago and already our paths have crossed even though you don't live in this city. I came tonight to see you, in some misguided attempt to see if we still had a spark, I guess? I don't even understand what I was thinking -- I knew you were married."

"We're getting--"

"I know. Here I find out that you're getting divorced and part of me is screaming, 'Yes! This is your shot. Be _happy_ , it's a sign!' and the rest of me is just so scared. And guilty. It's too soon. It's selfish of me to move on, and it's selfish to _use_ you to move on."

"It's good to be selfish sometimes," Jack stopped him when he saw Bitty was about to object. "Your 'selfish' decision to go to Paris was the _right_ one for you. Bits, just look at you. You made it."

"Using my dead lover's coattails..."

Jack shook his head. "No. _You_. Eric Bittle. Samwell class of 2017. _You_  moved to Paris and followed your dream. _You_  moved to New York and opened a restaurant all on your own. _**You**_."

"Jack, I..."

"Why'd you come back? Why _here?_  Was it because of what I said before you left? When I asked, 'why does it have to be Paris? Why not somewhere _closer_  like New York?' I'm sorry I said it. I've regretted it for years. It was selfish of me to ask that of you."

Bitty sighed. "It's good to be selfish sometimes..." He repeated Jack's own words.

"Not like that. It was the _wrong_ kind of selfish. I was asking you to stay for only my benefit. I'm happy you went anyway, Eric. I'm happy you met someone so wonderful who could give you what you deserved... And I'm really sorry that you lost him. I know it must be hard for you, even now... But I'm not sorry I got to see you again."

"I'm not ready to move on yet."

"It's okay. I'll wait."

"I'm not sure when that will be. It could take _years_..."

"I'll wait," Jack repeated.

"It would still be long distance. You live in Providence..."

"We'd make it work."

"But what about your career? Coming out--"

"Bits. _Eric_. I lost you once, but I never  _stopped_ loving you. I won't lose you again. If your reason is anything besides 'I don't love you anymore' then I'll wait as long as it takes."

Bitty shook his head. "I still love you, but I can't ask you to wait for--"

"You're _not_ asking me to. I'll wait. Eric..." Jack brushed the back of his fingers against his cheek and Bitty tilted his head up to look at him before his eyelids slipped closed and his lips parted ever-so-slightly. Jack leaned in and kissed him gently, for the first time in eight years. It was simple and sweet, and loaded with emotion, and a soft gasp escaped Bitty's lips when Jack pulled back again. "I'll wait."

Bitty looked over his shoulder when he heard a car pull up. His uber had arrived. "I guess that's me..." He took a step towards the door and stopped. "Jack?"

"Yes?"

"If our paths are meant to cross again, they will. Let's see where we are then, okay?" Bitty asked quietly. "I don't want you to be my rebound, and I don't want to be yours either, so... I'll wait too."

"Okay."

It would be another eight months before they saw each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I left it sort of open-ended, so you can interpret it as they reunite after they're both in better places emotionally.  
> I actually have another part to this planned in my head, which takes place 8 months down the road. I might write it out if there's enough interest.
> 
> Disclaimer: I realized after writing this that Jack's pretty blonde country singer (soon to be ex) wife who is about to release a breakup song sounds like a certain real person. That was completely unintentional. I was more trying to illustrate that his two biggest relationships since Bitty were actually people who reminded Jack of him in some way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8 months later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimers: No, the other guest was not supposed to be Beyoncé, just a random actress that I didn't want to think up a name for and accidentally imply it was based off of a real person.  
> The host is not based specifically off any real person either, just a random invented dude hosting a random invented late night talk show.

** Eight months later **

"The Falconers won the Stanley Cup. Isn't that wonderful?" Bitty called out from the kitchen as he grabbed three coffee cups from the cupboard.

"Yeah, it's great!"

"How many is that, now? For Jack?"

"Three, but it's his first time as captain."

Bitty entered the living room carrying the three cups, milk, sugar, and a carafe of coffee on a tray. "That's so exciting! He must be thrilled!"

"Oh, totally!" Ransom said with a proud grin on his face. He turned his head just in time to catch Holster roll his eyes. " _What?_  You know how fucking rough the past year has been for him. Don't start with that."

"With what?"

"Your whole eye-rolling 'I will never forgive Jack' BS. It's getting really old."

Holster scoffed. "I don't know why you're still friends with him. He didn't even come to our wedding."

Bitty retreated back to his kitchen under the guise of getting the snacks he had prepared, but truthfully he did not want to be a witness to a married couple's bickering. He hoped re-entering the room with fresh pastries would be enough to snap them out of that line of conversation. "I sure hope you boys are hungry! I made _**so**_  much this morning."

"He had a west coast road trip that week and we couldn't afford to wait until off-season. Immigration was already sniffing around, if we waited that long they would have sent me back to Canada. Jack would have come if he could," Ransom insisted. "Why do you even care? You were never _that_ close to him. Why does it matter to you?"

"Because it mattered to _you_ , and _**you**_  matter to me," Holster replied. Both men sighed. They hated arguing, it was not something that happened very often.

"It couldn't be helped. All is forgiven."

Bitty carefully set down the second tray of baking. "I've been experimenting with a few new recipes, so let me know what y'all think..."

Holster sipped his coffee and reached for a pastry. He turned his attention to Bitty, and spoke with his mouth full. "I still can't believe _you_ did that interview with Jack last year. I can't believe you even _went_. I can't believe you didn't _tell us_ that you were catering his big NHL event!"

"I didn't tell you, because I knew what you would have said," Bitty replied matter-of-factly. "But it was a huge opportunity for the restaurant. Even if things had ended badly between us, I still would have accepted the offer. We needed the publicity to get us through those first few months."

"Well, you two sounded awfully chummy in that article..."

"It was nice to see Jack again. Fun, even." Bitty shrugged his shoulders. "Do you know how long it's been since I've had actual fun?" The interview may have hit a sore spot for Bitty, but the evening until that point, when they had been joking and recounting old stories from their Samwell days for surprised guests, had indeed been fun.

"And what kind of fun are you talking about, exactly?" Holster asked.

Ransom elbowed him. "Come on, that's none of your business."

"Not _that_  kind of fun... _That's_ been even longer." Bitty sipped his coffee. 

Holster seemed surprised. "So you're saying you _didn't_ hook up with him that night?"

"No, of course not." Although there had been a brief moment when his ride arrived that he nearly asked Jack back to his apartment, it was not something Bitty would ever admit to his over-protective friend. The moment had been fleeting, indeed, and Bitty was happy that they had parted ways as they did. "Jack was still married at the time, and I..." He shook his head. "I was an embarrassing mess that night. I kept on crying."

"I thought you said you had fun! What did he say to you?"

"It wasn't Jack's fault. It was my first catered event, the cause was important to me, opening Roux had been so much work for the previous six months and this was the first night I had a chance to let loose a little. I had maybe a bit too much wine, started talking about Léo and..." Bitty sighed. "Everything combined that night was too overwhelming. I thought I had been dealing with Leo's death, but I guess it was more that I had been keeping myself _distracted_ with the restaurant. When I finally slowed down enough to think about it..."

"Bitty..." Holster said sadly.

"Jack was actually really sweet that night. He said some things that I really needed to hear."

"Like what?" Ransom asked.

"Like, part of me always worried that he resented me for leaving." Holster made a sound to protest, but Bity held up a finger to halt him. "I was happy in France, and I loved Léo beyond _any_  doubt in my mind,  but... Part of me always wondered if leaving was the right thing to do. If I could have also been happy here, instead. And after everything that happened... If it was _worth_  it."

"Bits..." Ransom said quietly.

Bitty sipped his coffee. "I know, I know. That's a horrible thing to say. I know I am very blessed to have met Léo. It's better to have loved and lost, right? The universe is just colossally unfair sometimes." He sighed. "But anyway, Jack said he was happy that I left."

Holster scoffed. "That's--"

"Happy for _me_ ," Bitty clarified. "He said that I made the right decision to leave; that it was selfish of him to ask me to stay... I didn't get the 'happily ever after' I planned with Léo, but it was still worth it. I _know_ that. And now? I officially have no regrets. All those 'what ifs' lingering about Jack... I finally got some closure."

"That still doesn't change what he did, and it took him eight whole years to apologize..." Holster grumbled.

Bitty frowned and set his cup down on the tray with a heavy clink. "Believe it or not, I'm not some naïve child that you need to worry about. I was grown when you first met me and I sure as _**hell**_ am grown now. I appreciate the concern, but enough is enough. I _never_ asked you to pick sides in my breakup and I _certainly_ did not _**want**_  you to. Jack and I needed different things and we parted on good terms -- I've never been angry with him for that."

"He asked you to pass up on the biggest opportunity of your life and stay with him like some kind of _kept man_."

"And _I_ asked him to come out. We were both wrong. We were asking impossible things from each other."

"You've never told us that before. Why not?" Ransom asked.

"Because it's so embarrassing. I knew it was horrible to put him in that sort of position. To work nearly his entire life towards a goal, fight his way back from near-oblivion, and then risk it all two years into his dream NHL career? Maybe he would have been accepted, but maybe not. Let's face it, Jack without hockey isn't _Jack_. For me to ask something so huge for my own insecurity's sake, like being out together would somehow make our bond strong enough to ensure that I would come home after the year was over. Like I wouldn't be living my dream in Europe while he struggled to hold on to his back in Providence... It was stupid. Selfish."

"He started dating that skater after only five or six months. He hooked up with her during the Olympics."

Ransom elbowed his husband again. "He doesn't need to know that."

"Yeah, _well_..." Bitty frowned slightly, and picked nervously at the cuff of his sleeve. "The thing is, I started up with Léo after about three months..."

" _What?_ You said that your relationship started in the summer after your plans to get back together with Jack fell through."

"That was partly true. Things with Léo... They weren't _serious_  before then. He knew about Jack, we both knew about rumours of him dating that woman, _and_ he knew that I planned to go home at the end of the year, anyway... Then I _**didn't**_  -- I stayed. It took time for my feelings to change, Léo knew that too -- he always was so understanding. Maybe that was part of the reason I ended up falling so hard for him."

Bitty took a bite of a pastry, and in the time it took him to chew and swallow, nobody had said a word. The silence felt heavy. He decided to change the topic.

"I'm really happy you were able to visit. It's too bad that you're going back to Boston in the morning. Oh! Did I tell you that I'm going to be on a late night talk show next week?"

"Really?" Ransom smiled, happy for the change of conversation.

"Yeah! I'm goin to talk about the cook book I'm writing, the restaurant -- can you believe it's been almost a year since Roux opened? We're doing a big anniversary special -- and I'm going to make a recipe demo or two at the end of the episode."

"That's 'swawesome!" Holster grinned proudly. "We'll make sure to watch it!"

"You better!"

******

Bitty hoped that Holster forgot about watching the show that night. He was sure to have a flood of angry-confused texts on his phone come 11:00pm when the episode aired. "Um, excuse me?" He asked quietly to a young woman walking down the hall. Maybe a page? She looked like she worked there, at least.

"Yes?"

"Just, that door..." He looked over at another dressing room a little further down the hall. "I thought the other guest tonight was..." He let the sentence trail off when her eyes lit up with recognition.

"Oh, yes! Right! The flight she was supposed to be on this afternoon was delayed so we had to make a last minute substitution. Alex met him the other day at some event or something, and knew he was still in town so he asked him to fill in last minute. We're all sort of scrambling, to be honest, but he seemed confident that the interview would go smoothly. Apparently he's starting some summer camp for kids or something? Sorry, I don't know exactly. I'm rambling."

Bitty smiled. "It's okay, thank you. I just didn't realize I'd be seeing Jack Zimmermann tonight..."

"Is there a problem? I've heard he's very nice, but if there's something wrong, please--"

"No, no! There's no problem! We're actually old friends... Does he know I'm here?"

"I'm not sure. It depends on how much he was told when they called him in. You're welcome to go say hello." She smiled before carrying on her way.

Bitty took a step towards Jack's door but stopped himself, and instead returned to his own room. He wondered if it would be better to see him before the show, or to wait until they saw each other on stage. He sipped his bottle of water and paced his room. What would they even say? Bitty finally decided that it would be better to get the awkwardness out of the way before stepping out in front of cameras, "oh lord, or that _crowd_ ," he said out loud.

With new found resolve, Bitty headed back out to the hall and knocked confidently below the paper 'Jack Zimmermann' sign taped to the door. There was no answer. He knocked again, a little less confident now, but still no answer. Jack must have been in hair and makeup or something by now. Bitty sighed and turned to go back to his own room, but a voice startled him. 

"They have chicken tenders in the green room," Jack said as he approached with a plate in his hand.

Bitty laughed. "Of _course!_ " 

Jack smiled. "Hey..."

"Hey..."

"Want one?" Jack offered the plate to Bitty, making him laugh again.

"Sure," Bitty said as he purposely picked one of the smaller pieces. "Don't fill up too much on chicken, ya hear? I'm cooking tonight, you know."

"I know." Jack opened the door to his dressing room. "Want to come in for a bit? Maybe we could have a talk?"

"Sure." Bitty followed after him, but purposely left the door slightly ajar. Not that he really expected them to get into any mischief an hour before going on national television, but just that Bitty really did not know what to expect seeing Jack again. "So..." He sat down on the couch inside Jack's room and rested his hands on his knees.

"I knew you were going to be on the show tonight, but that's not the only reason I agreed." Jack took a seat on the opposite end.

"Oh. Okay, good."

"I ran into Alex at a celebrity golf tournament for the children's hospital a few days ago and he told me you were going to be on the show. I guess the staff does research on upcoming guests to prepare questions to ask them, and they saw that we used to be teammates so he came to ask me if that was true. We started talking about that article interviewing me and you, and the benefit that night, and the camp that we're launching this year... He seemed really interested and I guess when the schedule guest had to cancel, he thought I would be a natural replacement since we already know one another. It's a great chance to get some publicity for the camp. If this pilot project goes well, we're hoping we can make it across the US and Canada."

"That would be wonderful." Bitty smiled.

"Yeah." Jack set his plate down on the table and turned his body towards Bitty. "I can't believe we're both here right now. I wanted to go to your restaurant so badly this week, but I didn't want to force our next meeting like that. What are the chances I would even be asked on a talk show in the first place?"

Bitty laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, I know, right?"

"Bits... Sorry, _Eric_ ," he corrected himself. "I'm really happy to see you again."

Bitty was torn as to whether he should tell Jack he was happy to see him too, or to set some boundaries. "It's nice to see you too," he began. "Listen, Jack..."

There was a soft knock on the partially-open door and it cautiously opened to reveal the page Bitty had spoken to earlier. "Mr. Zimmermann? I'm here to take you to hair and make-- oh! Good, you're in here too, Mr. Bittle. I thought you might be. Courtney was just looking for you. She'll help you get the dishes prepped for your demonstration." The page called out to Courtney down the hall to let her know she had found Bitty, then poked her head back into the room with a smile at Jack. "Ready to go?"

"Yes." Jack stood. 

Bitty followed them out of the room and smiled a brown-haired woman he assumed was Courtney. "Have fun, Jack." 

"I'll see you out there, eh Bittle?" Jack offered him a fist bump, which made Bitty laugh as he reciprocated. Jack snuck in a wink as he turned away.

******

The food was prepped for the various stages required for a quick recipe demonstration, Bitty had visited wardrobe, had his hair and stage makeup done, and now he sat backstage in the green room where he nursed a glass of red wine and watched the feed of Jack on stage with the host, Alex. It helped that they had a chance to talk before the show, as brief as that had been.

"--And this was a surprise to me, but you already know our next guest, right?" Alex asked Jack with smile.

"We played hockey together in college," Jack replied. "He's very good."

Bitty blushed as they continued talking about him for another minute. He finished his glass of wine, and was relieved when the topic changed back to the charity work Jack has been working on and the upcoming summer camp he was running.

"--It starts next week and will run until mid-August, with different age groups each week ranging from 8 to 17. The only exception is for the third week which will host LGBTQ-identifying teens with an extra focus on the issues they face in organized sports. Of course, issues like homophobia, transphobia, and so on will be addressed in age-appropriate ways every week as well. It's an important issue to me, just like mental health and healthy eating habits."

"Well, I'm not sure you'll be too pleased with Eric Bittle's demonstration at the end of our show. He's known around the world for his desserts," Alex joked.

"Well, everyone is entitled to a treat now and then. I had my share of chicken tenders from the green room backstage." Jack chuckled. "And you don't spend two years with Eric Bittle without learning how to work a pie or two into your meal plan."

Bitty nearly dropped his wine glass. Did Jack just tell the entire studio that they had dated for two years? Alex raised his eyebrows. "We have to take a break for commercials, but more on _that_  and Eric Bittle when we return." He said to the camera.

There was no more time to react as one of the staff member came to guide Bitty just off-stage behind a curtain to wait until he was announced. He was _definitely_ going to be getting a series of texts from Holster, and who knew which other friends tonight when the show aired.

Bitty immediately set the record straight upon taking his seat on stage. "I should clarify, for anyone in the audience or at home, that we _lived together_  for two years at Samwell. Well, I guess I didn't live at the Haus my first year, exactly, but I was there all the time. I had a kitchen essentially all to myself in that frat house, none of those boys spent much time cooking."

"Oh! That makes _a lot_ more sense!" Alex laughed. "Here I thought we just had a scandalous reveal!" He turned to the camera. "Don't worry, folks! Our show is as boring as usual." The audience laughed. 

Only Bitty heard the soft sigh from Jack. He would be damned before he let Jack get outed on his account, especially after everything they had been through before. Bitty flashed him a smile and Jack smiled back, but the disappointment was evident in his eyes. He turned back to Alex. "I should add that Samwell had an excellent LGBTQ reputation back when we attended -- and still does, of course. It was the biggest reason I wanted to go there in the first place. Even knowing that, I still took nearly all of my first semester to come out to my teammates."

"You, of course, are an openly gay man -- you opened a famous restaurant in Paris with your partner, Léo Rousseau, before his untimely passing -- what are your thoughts on the LGBTQ-centred week of Jack's camp? What was your experience as a gay athlete playing a team sport?"

"Well, I think the idea is great and I'm sure Jack will do a wonderful job. Coming out to my friends on the team was scary, even in such a welcoming environment. You're never quite sure how someone will react, you know? Will the guys suddenly object to you being in the locker room? Will their attitude towards you change off the ice? Will it change _on_  the ice? There were so many variables beyond my control. It was hard to find the right time to announce something like that, too."

"How did Jack react when you told him you were gay?"

Bitty exchanged looks and a small laugh with Jack. "I don't think I ever told you, did I?"

"I don't think so. I think one of the guys mentioned it in passing, and that's how I found out. I would have realized eventually anyway when you brought a man as your date to the winter dance."

"Oh, lord! Don't _remind_  me!" Bitty laughed more and turned back to Alex for a brief explanation. "The guy had a little too much to drink and threw up on my shoes, it was awful. College, right?" He paused when Alex and the audience laughed as well. "Jack was very sweet, though, he walked me home that night."

"So, Jack, what did you think when you heard Eric was gay?"

"I didn't think anything of it. We weren't particularly close at the time, and he was far from the only player on our team that wasn't straight. It wasn't uncommon to have LGBTQ teammates at Samwell. Like Eric said, it was one of the drawing points of our school, lots of athletes sought out Samwell for that reason."

"You weren't friends at first?" 

"No, no, absolutely not. Jack was a wonderful captain, but _intimidating_  as heck, and I wasn't a very good player at first."

"You were a great--"

"Jack, sweetheart, don't lie on national television," Bitty only realized his words after they left his mouth. He called Jack _sweetheart_  on _national television_. His only option was to continue on casually, and ignore the burning in his cheeks. "I was awful in the beginning compared to the rest of my college-level teammates, but I got better. Jack helped me a lot with that. I was actually captain myself my senior year." He powered through. "But it took a little while between my playing on-ice and my constant supply of sugary baking off-ice. We worked things out eventually."

"Yes, we became very close," Jack added.

"Now, Eric, I have a picture here from you that I wanted to share. Can we bring it up on the screen?" Alex asked the last question to someone Bitty could not see. A shot of Bitty baking with his mother was put up on the screen behind them. "This is from a page in your cookbook. It's you with your mother, am I correct?"

"Oh, yes! She taught me _nearly_ everything I know," Bitty said with a proud smile. 

"Now, my first question is: did  _Jack_ ever meet her? We all know he has a thing for pretty blonde women!" Alex teased. The audience laughed.

"I don't only date _blonde women,_ " Jack responded. He emphasized both words which made for an awkward sounding sentence, but Bitty knew what he meant. Jack did not exclusively date blondes, and he did not exclusively date women either.

Bitty laughed to dismiss the implication. "Jack has met my mother a number of times. They met my first year at Samwell for family weekend. I met his dad that weekend, too, and his mom the following year." Bitty left out the countless times Jack had seen both of his parents while they were dating for obvious reasons. "But yes, my mother is quite the chef herself. She helped me a lot with selecting the recipes for this book."

"And I bet your friend Jack will be happy to know that you have a sizeable selection of healthy recipes in here, not only sweets. You also provide a lot of suggestions for ingredients that can be substituted for various dietary restrictions."

"Well, four years as a college athlete taught me some things, too." Everyone laughed.

Alex turned back to the camera. "When we come back from our break, Eric Bittle will attempt to show me how to make a quick and easy dessert for the 4th of July. I apologize in advance for my terrible cooking skills. Jack, will you stick around? Try a hand at the recipe too?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

The baking demonstration was a hit with the audience, with Bitty cheerfully discussing both his upcoming cookbook and one-year anniversary special at his restaurant, Roux, along the way. The highlight came when Alex was pitted against Jack to mix the ingredients for two sauces to be poured at the final stage. It had been a while since Jack and Bitty had prepared any dishes together, but they quickly fell back into their old ways, carrying on full conversations with only one-word sentences and a series of sounds.

"This?"

"Nn..."

"Oh!"

"More."

"Ehh..."

"Right!"

"Oh come on, now! This isn't even fair! Are you even saying _words?!_ " Alex protested dramatically. "I'm being set up!" Bity laughed and purposely helped him the rest of the way before bringing out a 'finished product' he had made before the show.

"And if you follow all the steps, you should have something like this." He set the pie down on the counter of their cooking station. He looked down at the sorry mess in front of Alex from his attempt at an earlier step. Even baked, that pie would not turn out pretty. " _Maybe_ don't quit your day job..." He teased.

"You're breaking my heart here, Eric." Alex laughed.

Bitty demonstrated the final steps of adding the fresh whipped cream and drizziling the raspberry and blueberry sauces that Alex and Jack had competed to make. He added a few fresh berries to the centre. "And there you have it! A simple, festive, red-white-and-blue dessert for the 4th of July!"

Bitty served up three small slices for a taste test. Alex let out a moan that bordered on obscene. "This is the _best_ thing I've ever tasted! What do you think, Jack?"

"It's delicious, as always." He smiled, then leaned in to whisper to Bitty, "I still have a special spot for those chocolate chip cookies, though..." Bitty laughed and smacked him lightly on the arm.

******

With the recording finished and the stage makeup removed, Bitty was preparing to leave when Jack knocked on his door. "Jack? Hi!"

"I was wondering if I could take you to dinner, we never did get to finish our talk earlier."

As tempting as the invitation was, Bitty was a little hesitant to go for dinner with Jack where they could be spotted in a potentially romantic situation. Especially when he was not sure how their interactions would come across to viewers once the show aired. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

"Oh..." Jack's hopeful expression fell from his face. He looked like he wanted to say something more, but nothing would come out. "Okay."

Bitty stopped him before he could leave. "Jack, wait! Um..." His eyes darted around the room as if the right words might be waiting for him on the coffee table. He sighed. "Maybe we could grab some takeout? I have all the ingredients for those cookies in my kitchen at home..."

Jack's eyes widened. "Your home? Are you sure?"

"Being seen together in public might be a little  _problematic_  right now, and if we're going to talk, it's better to have privacy, right?"

"Why problematic?"

"I just called you _sweetheart_ and I'm pretty sure we spent half the show flirting in front of a live audience. It might be pretty incriminating for you once it airs."

"For me? Bits, I was _**trying**_ to--"

"I know, but not right now. Not spontaneously on a late night talk show. People will automatically assume we're together _now_  and we will barely have a moment to figure out what's really going on here. I just... I think we need to have a long talk before you decide to turn your whole life upside down. Not for my sake."

"Eric..."

"We have a lot of catching up to do, over the past eight years and especially the past eight months. When all is said and done, we might decide we're better off apart like before. Let's talk."

Jack wanted to protest that he knew without a doubt that he would not change his mind, but instead he responded with a simple nod of his head. "Okay. Let's go."

******

"Your restaurant seems to be doing well," Jack said as he sat down on a stool at the island. Bitty was flitting around his kitchen as he always did, gathering ingredients for Jack's favourite cookies.

"Yes, _thankfully_. Those first few months were really tough, but here it's been nearly a year. Time flies."

"This kitchen sort of reminds me of the one in my first apartment in Providence, only bigger."

Bitty felt a small twist in his chest at the revelation that Jack had moved from the place he had considered his second home for two years. Of course Jack would have moved by now. Did he buy a house? Bitty did not have a clue. He pushed down his thoughts and smiled. "It kind of reminded me of that, too." He admitted.

Jack smiled back. "You know, I probably still have a box of your things in one of my closets."

"Oh lord, you didn't throw that away by now?" Bitty laughed.

"I wouldn't throw your things away without permission, Bits."

"Jack."

"Sorry, _Eric_. I didn't think I would have that much trouble calling you by your first name. I did before, but that..." Jack trailed off in an attempt to remain tactful when he realized most of the times before that he said 'Eric' was when they were bed. "Oh."

"Yeah," Bitty said with a nod to acknowledge that he had realized the same thing. "It's probably okay if you call me Bits sometimes, or Bittle like the old days."

Jack chuckled. "The _really_  old days."

"Still _good_  old days." Bitty flicked a small amount of flour at Jack. "Remember that final project where we had to bake historically--"

Jack stood and leaned over the island to kiss Bitty. Bitty gripped the countertop, but leaned into the kiss slightly before Jack pulled back. "Sorry, I shouldn't have done that..."

"It's okay. Maybe it's better to get some of the awkward moments out of the way. One more time?" Bitty initiated their second kiss, gently, like they used to during content moments alone in the kitchen of Jack's old apartment, or first thing in the morning while marvelling at how they got so lucky as to get to wake up next to each other. The kind of way that made Jack feel almost overwhelmed, like if the moment could be any more beautiful he might cry. That feeling was still there, welling in his chest like before. He loved Eric Bittle, no doubt in his mind.

"I should have kissed you that day. At the Haus, when we were working on our baking project... I wish I had kissed you then."

Bitty smiled. "Oh Jack, that wouldn't have changed anything. We would have broken up after two years and eight months instead of two years and three months, that's about it. If anything, kissing me without knowing how you really felt would have caused more problems. Maybe we never would have dated. No... I think things went exactly how they were supposed to."

They made eye contact and both men went to speak at the same time. "You--"

"Jack--" Bitty stopped. "Sorry, you go first."

Jack objected, but Bitty insisted again and he finally spoke. "You aren't the only reason I've been considering coming out publicly. Three weeks from now I'm going to be faced with fifty queer kids, and I'm going to talk to them about the importance of loving themselves and being proud of who they are... And I've been _hiding_  for nearly my entire life. What kind of message does that send? I don't want to be a hypocrite. I have nothing keeping me in the closet anymore. No fear for my career, no monogamous relationships with girlfriends or a wife that make people assume I'm straight... The timing is right."

"Im sorry. I didn't realize you had other reasons. I thought you were acting in the spur of the moment because we finally saw each other again after the way things were left eight months ago."

"I understand. You don't have to apologize," Jack assured him.

"I do, actually. Last time we met..." Bitty added the chocolate chips to the cookie dough. "I'm really embarrassed about how I acted."

"Why? You have no reason to be."

"I was just so emotional that night, and between moving back to the United States and getting the restaurant off the ground, I hadn't let myself properly grieve and it all spilled over that one night. I was feeling so vulnerable that I _almost_ asked you to come home with me when you caught me in the lobby. It was the reason I was trying to sneak away in the first place."

"Oh."

Yeah." Bitty chewed his lip. "I'm glad we didn't, though. If I had asked and you had said yes, I think it would have been a big mistake."

Jack nodded his head slowly. "I think you're right. I would never want to take advantage of you like that either."

Bitty placed the cookie tray in his oven as he continued the conversation. "I thought I was handling the pressure so well before then, but that night made it clear that something was not right. Sobbing when I even tried to talk about Léo... I'm not sure I had cried like that since his funeral. I was using everything as a distraction, rather than dealing with my actual feelings. My therapist made me realize that I was putting all this unnecessary pressure on myself by linking the restaurant's success with Léo's legacy. Roux's success or failure is not going to change the wonderful things he did in his life, and the _last_ thing he ever would have wanted was for me to struggle like that."

Jack groaned quietly with the realization that he had spent half the evening with Bitty and had not asked him how he was doing. "How've you been? I'm sorry, I should have asked sooner."

"I'm doing better -- much better. Life has slowly started feeling _normal_  again."

Jack smiled. "I remember that feeling. It took me almost a year at Samwell before I started feeling like my life was back to normal, in some sense. As normal as it ever had been, at least. I'm happy for you, Bits. Really. You look good, happy."

"I am. Happy, that is." Bitty smiled back. "Are you?"

"Compared to the past six months to a year? Much happier."

"Good." Bitty checked the timer on the oven, the cookies would still need a few more minutes to bake. "Would you like a small tour? There isn't much to my apartment, it's only a one-bedroom -- I sacrificed bedroom space for kitchen space," he said with a laugh.

"That would be great." Jack followed Bitty around as he pointed out various things in his dining room and living room.

"Well, you won't know most of the people in these photos, I guess, but this one is from my parents' 30th anniversary, and this one over here is from Ransom and Holster's wedding, and here's one of Caitlin and Chowder's daughters. Cute, huh?"

"Very cute." Jack's attention was soon drawn to a few photos showing the same auburn-haired, middle-aged man. "Is this Léo?"

Bitty let out a small laugh at the silly expression on Léo's face in one of the pictures. "Yeah, he was something else. I took that one during the soft opening of our first -- or, well, _our_  only -- restaurant. It was a lot of fun. This one over here is from our vacation to Greece about four months before he died."

"And you never got married?"

Bitty shook his head with a shrug. "It's not as big there as it is here, even hour same-sex marriage _is_ legal. There are these things called PACS that are sort of like a civil partnership or living common-law. We just did that, it was less messy."

"Hm."

" _Hm_ , what?"

"I'm just surprised. You always wanted to get married before."

"Well, that was mostly for the _food_ ," Bitty joked as he stepped back to lead the way down the hall. "In here is my little office space. I have the team photos from all four years at Samwell in here. We can loop back here in a minute... Here's the guest bathroom next door and this is my bedroom here." Bitty took a few steps inside and stopped. "Um..."

Jack smiled at Bitty's sudden shyness. "It's a lot neater than your room at the Haus."

"Most of the chaos is contained in my office now."

"Apparently so." Jack laughed.

"Well, um..."

"Are you uncomfortable with me being in your bedroom? I'll go."

Bitty stopped him before he reached the hallway. "No, it's okay. I've just never really done this before, so I don't really know how to ask..."

"What is it?"

"Will you stay here tonight? If you want to? You can say-- Damn it!" Bitty exclaimed when he heard the over timer buzzing. "Those cookies can burn in no time, I have to grab them." He hurried from the bedroom red-faced.

Jack followed him to the kitchen as Bitty set the tray of cookies down to cool. "Yes, but only if you're sure," he said when Bitty turned away from the oven.

"I'm sure," Bitty said with a small nod. "Um, but it's been a while since I did, well, _anything_ , so..."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes."

"Then that's a good enough start," Jack said as he approached Bitty, raising one hand to gently brush against his cheek before settling on the back of his neck. He hesitated to go further until he felt Bitty's hands grip his waist. He smiled into their kiss, earning a small frown from Bitty when he ended up mostly kissing Jack's teeth. "Sorry."

"Let's try this again, Mr. Zimmermann..." Bitty laughed softly before pulling him in for a proper kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See that wasn't so bad? Significantly less crying in this part! None, actually!   
> I'm toying with the idea of following up with Jack coming out/maybe Bitty taking a couple days off to visit him at the camp in upstate New York so they can figure out where they go from here. Hm...


	3. Chapter 3

Bitty collapsed onto his bed, completely exhausted. He was only working four nights a week now, and was preparing for his upcoming book tour, but the nights that he was at Roux were as hectic as ever. His phone chimed to indicated an incoming text, and Bitty knew exactly who it would be. "Hey Bits," he guessed aloud in his empty bedroom before rolling onto his side to grab his phone. It was 11:03pm, and lights out at Jack's summer camp were promptly at 11:00pm.

Jack: Hey Bits. How was work?  
Bitty: Busy. Per usual. How was camp?  
Jack: Good. Tomorrow is the last day for the 11-13 year olds.  
Jack: They're a good bunch of kids. I like that age group. They remind me of my coaching days after my OD.  
Bitty: And that's a good thing?  
Jack: Yeah. That's why I'm doing all this after all. To hopefully help these kids from growing up to repeat my mistakes.  
Jack: Hey, Bits?  
Bitty: Yes Jack?  
Jack: There's a journalist coming to the camp tomorrow to do a story about the first two weeks, and the extra work being done for LGBTQ week. I'm going to come out then.  
Bitty: You're sure?  
Jack: Yes. It's probably going to be posted by night-time, or Saturday morning at the latest. I wanted to give you warning in case it blows up and you get asked about it.  
Bitty: Okay. Thanks for letting me know. I think most of the hype from the night show has died down now. People might already have forgotten our association.  
Jack: Speaking of that night...

Bitty put his phone down before he could read Jack's follow-up message. He paced his room and changed into more comfortable clothes for sleeping in then brushed his teeth while recounting the events of the night Jack had stayed over.

  
\---  
His parents called as soon as the episode had aired, and Jack's parents had done the same to him. Bitty had barely gotten off the phone with his mother before it was ringing again, this time Holster was the one on the other end of the line. Bitty answered it and immediately put the call on speakerphone so that they could both say hello. Holster was already speaking before either man had the chance.

"What the hell, Bitty? You didn't say anything about Jack being on the show tonight, too! What was that? What does it mean?"

"It was a last minute substitution. They called Jack to fill in so that he could talk about his mental health initiative and the summer camp," Bitty explained. "He's here right now, actually."

"Oh god, did you fuck him?"

Bitty blushed and looked over at Jack. They were both on his bed, but still very much clothed. "I meant he's here right now on _speakerphone_..."

"Oh."

"Hi Holster," Jack finally added to the conversation.

"You're such an ass, hun. Leave them alone, it's _none_ of your business," Ransom's voice said clearly on the line.

"Are you on speakerphone too?" Bitty asked his former teammates.

"Yeah, well, I was a _little_ curious about this little televised surprise too... Hey Jack!" Ransom added.

"Hey. What's up, man?"

Ransom chuckled. "Oh nothing much. Idiot husband, adorable dog, challenging job. Same old, same old. Good show tonight. That camp sounds really exciting. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Rans."

"You too, Bits. Great job."

Bitty smiled. "Thank you."

Holster cleared his throat. "Okay, so I know it's none of my business... But it is nearly one in the morning, so..."

"We're just talking," Bitty replied.

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

"Good night, gentlemen." Bitty half-laughed, half-sighed as he hung up the phone.

In fact, they had done little more than talking and some making out that night. There had been too much for Bitty and Jack to discuss, between sharing stories from their past nearly nine years apart, reminiscing about their Samwell days, and discussing their relationship history, there had not been time for much else. Bitty had drifted off to sleep somewhere around sunrise, and assumed Jack was not far behind.

When they woke a few hours later to Bitty's alarm, Jack had smiled lazily at him like he had so many mornings before. "I forgot how nice it feels to wake up next to someone, especially you."

"Charmer." Bitty had smiled back.

"I could get used to this..." Jack kissed him gently before shifting to sit up in bed for a stretch.

"About _this_... I'm still not sure what to call this," Bitty said as he sat up. "It's not that I don't want it to be _something_ , but..."

"But?"

"We still live in different cities. We broke up last time in part because of the distance."

"We've always been long distance, Bits. Whether it's Samwell and Providence or New York and Providence... We're still only a couple hours apart, not an ocean apart. You can come see me when you have a few days off, I can visit you when I'm in town to play the Rangers or Islanders, even New Jersey. And I can fly in when I have a couple days off too. Plus, I'm just upstate all summer. I could easily drive down for a bit on the weekends, or maybe you could even come up there for a few days, take a break from the city, get some fresh air."

"Maybe..."

"If we were dating -- _just_ dating, not living together -- we wouldn't see each other much more than that, even if we did live in the same city. My schedule is crazy, your schedule is crazy, distance is never going to be our problem. We don't have to see each other every day to make this work. And down the line, who knows? Maybe I'll get traded or you'll get sick of New York and then we will get to see each other every day. We won't know if we don't at least try, right?"

"I know, you're right, I know..."

"But...?" Jack prompted Bitty to continue with what was still on his mind.

"Distance isn't my only concern," Bitty said with a sigh. "Listen, I don't want this to come out the wrong way, but, I mean, since I was with you I've been with Léo... And that's it. Or, well, there was this one time with a third person but we were all careful and got tested afterwards to be safe. But, um, yeah. I think before we do anything else I need an update on your sexual history."

Jack was a bit surprised by the threesome confession, but he cleared his throat and answered Bitty. "Okay, so there was Rochelle -- we dated for about a year and a half, and Kent--"

"I meant just people since me, I know about before that."

"Yeah, well... That happened a couple of times again before we realized it was a bad idea."

" _Oh_. Yikes."

"Things are good between us now though, we've been strictly friends since," Jack continued, "after that I had a few short relationships with Jessica, Ella, and a teammate that was brought up from the AHL for a bit before getting sent back down again. After that I started dating my ex-wife and there has been no one else since. I got tested when I first learned she was cheating on me, but I'll do it again if you'd like."

"I will too, to be fair. I think maybe it's just a good idea if this is going to lead somewhere."

Jack nodded slowly. "No, I understand. That's good. Smart. We should take things slow. I'm not in any rush either."

"And then next time we see each other--" Bitty's phone buzzed and he grabbed it to find a text from Holster.

It said "saw this today" and there was a picture of Jack smiling at Bitty during their talk show appearance with the caption "find someone who looks at you like Jack Zimmermann looks at Eric Bittle." Were people still using that one? Bittle chuckled softly and shook his head.

"What is it?" Jack asked.

"Well apparently, we're a meme." Bitty showed Jack his phone.

"A meme?"

Bitty smiled and leaned over to give him a kiss. "Don't worry about it," he whispered against Jack's lips. "I have to meet with the publishers in an hour, so..."

Jack smiled and stood up from the bed. "Then I guess I should go..."

"Not that I'm trying to kick you out or anything," Bitty said as he rolled out of bed as well. "Um, here's your tie..." He stooped to collect Jack's tie off the floor.

Jack took it from him and put it on. "Thanks, Eric."

"Sorry it was on the floor. I hope it's not--" Bitty stopped mid-sentence with a laugh. "Oh gosh. You've been on this planet for 35 years and still can't properly tie a tie. Come here."

Jack smiled again. "Maybe I did it on purpose so you'd fix it for me."

"Oh? Very sneaky, Mr. Zimmermann." Bitty went up on his tiptoes to kiss him one last time. "Okay, if I don't get ready now I'm going to be late."

"Right, sorry. I'm going. Um... I'll text you. Okay? Is that okay?" Jack took a few hesitant steps towards the bedroom door, but waited for Bitty's reply.

"Sure." Bitty smiled. He called out to Jack before he left. "Jack? Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Oh, um..." His eyes scanned the room for what he could have missed. Jack knew his suit jacket was hanging by the apartment door, he had his wallet and his phone, what else was missing?

"Awfully hard to text me if you don't know my number, Mr. Zimmermann."

"Oh, right. I guess it wouldn't still be the same as before, eh?" Jack said sheepishly and pulled out his phone.

Bitty laughed. "No, it probably wouldn't be the same as the number I had in college. I lived on a different continent for almost a decade..." He gently teased. "Wait-- did you keep me in your phone?"

"Of course I did, Bits. You didn't?"

"Well..."

"It's okay. I understand." Jack stared at his phone as he updated Bitty's contact information with his new phone number. "Great." He smiled.

Bitty frowned when Jack turned to leave, and he chased after him down the hall, catching him just as he was slipping on his jacket. "Jack!"

"Yes?"

He did not know how to process the new information that Jack had kept him in his phone after all that time. There was so much that Bitty wanted to say, but all the words stuck in his throat. "Um, just... Text me, okay? I _want_ you to."

"I will. I promise." Jack gave him one final peck on the lips and was out the door. Bitty returned to his room to brush his teeth and his phone had already buzzed with a text.

Jack: Hey.  
Bitty: You always were a man of your word.  
Jack: Haha yeah. Don't be late for your meeting. Good luck.

  
Bitty smiled and spoke to himself in his empty room. "This boy..."  
\---

  
Bitty's phone chimed again with Jack's follow up text, breaking him from his thoughts. He picked it back up off his bed.

Jack: Speaking of that night...  
Jack: I was wondering if you would be able to come up here for a few days. Maybe you could talk to the kids about your time at Samwell and being closeted in high school in Georgia. Only if you're comfortable. And maybe we could talk about us too? Face to face? I'd love to see you again, Bits.

Bitty took a deep breath before he replied.

Bitty: I could probably come up Thursday. Does that sound good?  
Jack: That would be perfect. How long can you stay?  
Bitty: Probably a day or two at least. It might be nice to take a little break. I do miss summer camp.  
Bitty: And I'd like to see you again too, of course.  
Jack: That's good to hear. :)  
Bitty: Look at you showing off with smiley faces in your texts ;)  
Jack: And it only took me 20 years using cell phones to master it ;)  
Bitty: hahaha!  
Jack: Oh, um this is sort of awkward to ask but when you come to visit...

Bitty braced himself for the next text. Of course Jack would be curious about whether or not they would have sex. They had both gotten tested as promised and were given clean bills of health, and had done so under the implication that they would be having sex in the near future. And Bitty certainly wanted to, but scheduling it like this felt so impersonal. Jack's second text went through and Bitty stared at his phone in disbelief.

Jack: Can you make sure to wear appropriate-length shorts? I mean, I've always loved your short shorts but these are kids...  
Bitty: Well bless your heart Jack if you think I still wear shorts like I did when I was 20. Especially around children.  
Bitty: Besides, not everyone has aged as gracefully as you, Mr. Zimmermann.  
Jack: Don't say that. You're as handsome as ever. You're beautiful, Bits.  
Bitty: Oh shush. How many sit-ups do you think I need to do to get my old six-pack back by Thursday?  
Jack: You're perfect, Eric. Always.  
Bitty: Charmer ;)  
Jack: It's true.  
Bitty: Good night, Jack. It's past lights out. Time for bed. Don't want to set a bad example for your campers, do we?  
Jack: Of course. Good night. I'm looking forward to Thursday.  
Bitty: Me too. Good luck with your interview tomorrow. Let me know how it goes.  
Jack: I will. Thanks.

******

Jack sipped his water while his interviewer asked their next question. The morning sun was already blazing and it was sure to be a hot day at camp. He made a mental note to ensure that all the children stay properly hydrated until their parents picked them up that afternoon.

"And of course Monday is the start of your camp's special LGBTQ week. Everyone knows of your long-standing friendship with out NHL star Kent Parson who married his former teammate last year, but how do you feel that qualifies you as a straight male to speak to the struggles that these young athletes may face in their sports? Will you be having any special guest speakers?"

"We will have a few extra guests this week to share their stories, of course, but to answer your first question -- I'm not."

"Qualified?"

"Straight."

"Oh?" The interviewer was shocked by the admission, despite working LGBTQ publication. His eyes widened as he contemplated whether or not that was supposed to be on the record or not. If so, it was huge news and they had the scoop.

Jack continued. "Perhaps I have lied by admission in a way, out of fear for my career, but that is precisely why I wanted to have a separate week discussing the extra issues faced by LGBTQ athletes in greater depth. It's why I'm telling you and the rest of the world now."

The interviewer took a deep breath and resumed the interview with an impromptu string of questions, relieved that he was recording it to review later when he wrote the article. "You have a documented history of relationships with women in the past -- including a high-profile marriage -- how do you identify? Would you consider yourself gay?"

"All of my relationships with women have been genuine. I always have, and will continue to identify as a bisexual man."

"And have you had relationships with men in the past as well?"

"Yes. My first boyfriend was when I was eighteen."

The interviewer thumbed through his notes to make sure he properly referenced his next question. "You also recently spoke alongside celebrity chef Eric Bittle about your experiences playing together at Samwell University, where you stated, and I quote, 'it wasn't uncommon to have LGBTQ teammates at Samwell.' Did your college team know that you were bisexual?"

"Some of the guys knew, but only after I graduated. The NHL was still my ultimate goal while I was at Samwell, and I was scared to risk the second chance I had been given by coming out before signing with a team."

"Why did you decide to come out to them after you graduated?"

"I was in a serious relationship at the time. It was still too risky to come out publicly or to my team, but I was very happy with him and I wanted to share that with my closest friends and family."

"So you were in the NHL at the time of this relationship? May I ask who you were with?"

Jack cleared his throat. "Out of consideration for his privacy, I won't name him to public."

"Understood... It's not Kent Parson, is it?"

 "Excuse me?"

"I'm joking, my apologies. I understand completely," the interviewer assured him. "Are you currently seeing anybody?"

 "I'm..." Jack paused. He was not sure how to define his relationship with Bitty at that moment. It was the main reason Bitty was coming to see him at the camp, so they could talk about where to go next. "There is someone who is very important to me, let's leave it at that."

"Understood." The interviewer smiled before continuing his questions specifically about the camp and the upcoming LGBTQ week.

******

All things considered, the article had been received fairly well. Bitty had been the subject of some speculation and prying questions, but he managed to brush of the brunt of them. Still, it was one more reason he was relieved to be slipping away from the city for a few days.

He arrived at the camp after a three hour drive from New York City as the sun was just starting to set, and slung his bag over one shoulder. He stopped a young man who looked to be around 20 years old, one of the camp counsellors. "Excuse me, do you know where I might find Jack Zimmermann?"

The counsellor eyed him warily. "...Why? He's already said he's not doing any more interviews until the camp is finished for the summer, why do you people keep popping up like--"

"Oh! No, no! He's expecting me, I promise. I'm not a reporter, I'm his... Uh, his friend. From college. Eric Bittle," Bitty said as he extended for a handshake. "He asked me to come. We were teammates."

The counsellor looked him up and down. "You don't exactly _look_ like--"

"I know. Trust me, I've heard it all," Bitty said with a chuckle. "I appreciate you being cautious, really. It's good to know the people here have his back. Could you tell him I'm here, then? I'll stay put until he comes."

"Um, sure... What was your name again?"

"Eric Bittle. Or you can just say 'Bitty.' That's what everyone used to call me."

"Bitty?"

"Makes sense, right?"

"...I'll go find him."

" _ **Wonderful**_." Bitty paced by his car for nearly twenty minutes while the young man supposedly went to find Jack. "I bet he didn't even ask..." He mumbled to himself.

At that exact moment, Jack ran around the corner of the administrative building, the camera around his neck waving dangerously. "Eric!"

"Wait, Jack!" Bitty's protest went unheard as Jack literally swept him off his feet. "Oh my gosh, put me down!"

"Sorry, I'm... I can't believe you're really here." Jack leaned in to kiss him but Bitty stepped back.

"Sorry, just... What if one of the kids see?"

"Everyone's in the dining hall right now."

"And the counsellors?"

"Most if not all of them are there too. It's dinner time, Bits."

Bitty took a quick glance around before indulging Jack with a simple peck on the lips. "I can't believe I'm actually here, either." He picked his bag up off the ground. "Is there somewhere I can put my things?"

"Right, of course, follow me. You'll be staying in the same cabin as me and some of the other staff members, but you'll have a private room, of course."

"Oh? Okay."

"How could I explain it if you stayed in my room?"

"No, of course not. That makes complete sense. Obviously I would have my own room." Bitty cleared his throat. "Is it close to yours?"

"It's a few rooms away from mine... But we both have rooms with outdoor access, if you feel like going for a walk later."

"Oh? That could probably be arranged." He glanced up at Jack and smiled. "You look so relaxed here. It's nice."

Jack smiled back at him as they approached the staff cabin. "I am relaxed here, and I'm really happy you came."

"Me too." They stopped at a door at the end of the cabin. "Is this me?"

"Oh, no, it's my room. I have your key inside. Did you want to come in? We can go through the cabin to your room."

Bitty grinned. "Lead the way, Mr. Zimmermann." He followed Jack inside but they stopped as soon as they reached the keys on Jack's dresser. "Jack... I'll take that hello kiss if you're still offering...?"

"Of course, Bits." Jack wasted no time pulling Bitty into his arms and kissing him longingly. His hands roamed down to Bitty's waist before he reluctantly pulled away. "I should show you to your room. Maybe take you on a camp tour? We could get something to eat at the dining hall first if you're hungry."

"That would be nice," Bitty replied with a contented sigh, his hands still lingering on Jack's hips. His bag slipped from his shoulder and caught around his elbow, forcing one arm away from Jack. "Oh! I suppose I better see my room first, though."

"Right. Follow me." Jack led the way three doors down to Bitty's room, then across the campground to the dining hall. He pointed out various parts of the camp along the way. "There's rock climbing down that path by the docks too."

"No hockey rink, Mr. Zimmermann?" Bitty teased.

"Well nothing beats ice, but we play street hockey on the tennis court. It's the most we can do with a summer camp right now, but if we can expand the program across the rest of the USA and Canada, maybe some of those locations will have access to a real rink."

"Wouldn't that be nice?" Bitty shuffled his feet along the sandy path. "I really hope it can expand. It seems to be going well so far."

"It's been great, Bits. So great."

They entered the dining hall and sat in the corner to eat their meals while continuing their conversation. "And this week? How's it been?"

"The kids are really good. Well, they have been every week, but this week... I don't know, B- Eric. This week is _different_. These kids... Some of them are only 14 and they're so brave. So much braver than I was. They're out two decades younger than me."

"Times are different now."

"Yeah..."

"Jack--" Bitty was interrupted when a few counsellors joined them at their table.

"Hey! So you were the real deal, after all!" The young man from before saddled up next to Bitty and nudged him in the shoulder. "Bitty, right?"

"You can call me Eric."

"Eric, then. I'm Zach. That's Tanisha, Liz, Jacob, Jamal, and Maria," he pointed out the other counsellors a little farther down the table. "Right, Jackie?"

"I told you not to call me that," Jack frowned.

Zachary grinned. "Why you gotta be like that, Jackie? Sorry, Jack." He turned to Bitty instead when Jack refused to react any further. "So, Eric... How old are you?"

"Pardon me?"

"Just curious. You said you played with Jack in college, and I know he's 35, so..."

"I'm 31. I turned 31 in May." Bitty looked warily at the young man sitting beside him. "How old are you?"

"I'm 21, and I can only hope I look as hot as you ten years from now."

"Um. _What?_ " Bitty looked at Jack immediately when Zachary winked at him.

"Enough, Zach. That's inappropriate."

"You're as hot as ever too, Jackie. Don't worry." Zachary winked at him and slid back down the table closer to the other counsellors.

Bitty sighed and sipped his coffee. "I think he likes you."

Jack scoffed. "What? No way. He's just joking around. He does stuff like that all the time."

"Yeah, because he likes you. You really don't see it?"

"He's just a kid."

"Léo was 13 years older than me, you realize that right? Don't immediately discount him because he's younger than you."

Jack scoffed to dismiss the entire idea. "You're the one he called 'hot', Bittle."

"He said that to you too. Besides, I think he only said it to me to get your attention." Bitty chuckled when Jack's brow knit into a confused frown. "You really don't notice the meaning behind him saying things like that to you?"

"No. I guess I only have eyes for one person in my life."

Bitty grinned and took another sip of his coffee. "Charmer."

******

They did not get another moment alone together until after lights out. Bitty had barely returned to his room before there was a light rap on his door. He opened it and smiled when he saw Jack standing there, his camera still around his neck. "Good evening, Mr. Zimmermann. To what do I owe this honour?"

"Want to go for a walk to the docks?"

"Won't we get in trouble if we're caught out past curfew?" Bitty teased as he slipped on his shoes.

"I think we'll be okay. I know the guy that runs this place."

"Oh really? I've heard he's very handsome."

"Well I heard his boyfriend is the _real_ catch." Jack did not realize his words until they had left his mouth. "Or--"

Bitty silenced him by grabbing his hand in the dark. They sat down on the docks and dangled their feet in the water, sides pressed close together. Bitty let out a soft sigh. "About what you were saying earlier, at dinner, before we were interupted... I wouldn't say these kids are braver than you."

"I stayed in the closet for the first ten years of my professional career."

"And like I said earlier, times were different. You were being watched so closely back then. It would have undoubtedly affected your career. But the past is past. The work you're doing now? This will help a lot more kids feel okay with themselves for a whole bunch of reasons -- whether they're queer or struggling with their mental health or being bullied because of their weight or feeling pressure to live up to the standards set by their parents... You're already helping so much, I promise."

"I really hope so."

"You're the bravest man I know, Jack. Shh!" Bitty hushed him when he was about to object. "I'm serious, you are. Everything you've been through, and you still keep fighting. More than that, you actively decided it to be the public face of it all. Once you set your mind on something you go for it, no matter the obstacles. That's admirable. _That's_ brave."

"Thanks, Bits." Jack slid his hand along Bitty's leg in the dark until he found where his hand was resting and laced their fingers together. "It feels strange... Coming out after all this time. People finally knowing."

"Has the feedback been okay, as far as you can tell from here?"

"Yeah, it's been mostly positive. A few parents pulled their kids from upcoming weeks, but I haven't heard much else. Seems like a journalist or two or some paparazzi try to come down here every day but the rest of the staff has been good about turning them away. Most of the media has honoured my request to keep their distance until after the camp is over. I didn't want them to disturb the kids' camp experience."

"That's good."

"A few of the campers have mentioned gossip articles like 'the REAL reason his marriage ended: Jack Zimmermann is gay' and things like that, but there's only so much you can say to those people. I'll focus on the real story when I get back."

"I saw some of those articles too, but I didn't want to read them. I was mentioned in a few, people told me."

"I'm sorry you got dragged into it, Bits."

Bitty nudged into his shoulder. "It was pretty inevitable, really. If it makes you feel better, your ex-wife has been asked about it too and she's been pretty frank about it all. She said that she wasn't married to a 'secretly gay' man, that you are bisexual and she knew that. I think 'we were together for five years, of course I knew that' were her exact words."

Jack chuckled. "Yeah, sounds like her."

"She knew? Did she know about me specifically?"

"Yeah. I don't think I ever said you were **_the_** Eric Bittle, but I told her all about you. I'm sure she's realized now since our talk show appearance that you are the Eric from back then. She always said she'd be supportive if I decided to come out, it's nice that's still true even after she's divorced with a new family. I should call her tomorrow."

Bitty brushed his thumb against Jack's hand. "You know, my mama called me as soon as she heard about you coming out."

"Oh? What did she say?"

"That she's proud of you. Coach is too. She also asked if I was the 'very important someone' you mentioned in that article."

"What did _you_ say?"

"I said I wasn't sure..." Bitty admitted, but continued when he saw Jack frown. "But that I hoped I could be everything you wanted me to be."

"Bits... I don't _want_ you to be anything. All I _**need**_ is for you to be yourself. I love _you_ , Eric."

Bitty kissed him gently and chose his words carefully. "I want to give us another try, Jack. I love you too, but... I'm so scared it won't work out again. We broke up once before... What if it's still not enough?"

"That scares me too, Bits, but it doesn't change the fact that I've _continued_ to love you for ten years. Nothing will ever change that."

"I know..."

"If you're not ready, I'll wait as long as it takes."

Bitty sighed quietly and lied down on his back, his feet still dangling in the water. He stared up at the night sky, but only spoke once Jack had joined him watching the stars. "Léo knew a lot about you too, you know? He was never one for that 'never talk about your ex' stuff. He knew you were an important part of my life, he knew part of me would always love you..."

"Bits..."

"He also knew that you had asked me to stay somewhere closer instead of going to Paris. Somewhere like New York," Bitty gave Jack's hand a small squeeze, but did not take his eyes off the sky.

" _Oh_."

"I think that's why he suggested opening our second restaurant in New York. Even for that while there when he was looking better and I naïvely thought he was going to beat the cancer... I think he knew what was coming. Actually, no, I'm _sure_ of it. Telling me to open 'our' new place in New York was his way of telling me I should come find you. Forever his protégé, always looking out for me. Find someone who makes me happy, fall in love, _go to New York..._ He was telling me all along that you were the one I should seek out."

"Do you think he was the reason we met again?"

Bitty smiled. "It's a nice thought, but it was probably just a coincidence. A happy coincidence." He sat up again and Jack followed. "Still, there are _worse_ guardian angels to have, I suppose."

"Yeah," Jack whispered and leaned his head against Bitty. The heard the sound of a cabin door slamming and Jack frowned. "I should probably check that out..."

"Go. I'll meet you at your room in a few minutes," Bitty told him with a quick kiss before Jack hurried off to investigate who _else_ was breaking curfew.

Bitty stood and brushed off his clothing before slipping his damp feet back into his shoes. He walked to the end of the dock and paused to looked up at the sky one more time. He smiled and let his eyelids slide shut for a few minutes, taking in only the sounds of the nighttime wilderness... And a quiet click.

"Still carrying around that camera, Mr. Zimmermann?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this will be the end of the fic for me. I considered writing a 4th part before, but I like how it ended this time. It came full-circle, and I'm happy with it.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! It means so much to me!


End file.
